Dear Nick

I dont know how this happened, but somehow you have transformed into a full blown 14 year old on his way to high school in September. I tried to use our road trip today as a series of teaching moments. Like, when I was driving on the freeway and I almost changed lanes right into a black SUV. I explained to you that its really important to check your blind spot to avoid that kind of a situation, or how I showed you how to pump gas and and swipe a credit card to pay for it. I suddenly feel like I have so much to teach you about driving, handling money, being safe, how to not cave into peer pressure. I just cant keep up. I still remember talking to your dad when you were a baby about how he has more patience and he should be the one to teach you how to drive. He proudly agreed. He looked forward to teaching you to drive a stick, I wish he was here. You both have missed out on so much of each other. You two are more alike than you know.

And so here I am, 14 years later, trying to make up for the loss, trying to do it all as fast as I can because before I kn0w it, you will be graduating, you will have your whole life ahead of you, and whether I want to or not, I will have to let you go to live life on your own, to make mistakes, to learn from mistakes, to make choices and live with them. I have to release you into a scary world and that thought alone keeps me in the now. I cant even focus on that time yet, so I will just celebrate who you are now. I love you and you will always be my Nicolopogus and there isnt anything I wouldnt do or sacrifice for you.